The Matter of the North
This lovely little ditty was composed by an anonymous writer around year 47. It is sung to the tune of the popular folk song, “Brave Sir Robin,” and is quite popular in Leyland and surrounding areas. The central figure is the legendary sword, Andrenil, which is currently rumored to be in the possession of Melantha, the queen of Leyland.
Bold Andrenil, a sword of great renown,
Killed his foe and smashed his prey,
And struck the undead down.
He was not in the least bit scared to be handled by a bard
Particularly one who insisted on holding the sharp end.
She was clumsy and bookish and tone-deaf and dumb.
She ate like a pig and she dressed like a bum.
She’s a cultist of Dalath-you know that it’s true—
She’ll tell you shut it but I will pursue.
She makes eyes at the Elf King and Fomilhar too,
And Galen, and Desi, and probably you.
Ask her sometime of that Hildegard dish,
When she’s had too much fizzy and drunk like a fish.
Mel the Bard ran away,
Bravely ran away, away,
When at last we battled a foe undead
Bravely she packed up her trumpet and fled.
Brave brave brave Melantha!
“Brave Andrenil” is traditionally accompanied by violin, mandolin, or flute, but persistent rumors abound of an upcoming country arrangement of the song, with slightly altered lyrics and a banjo/guitar accompaniment.