Fifty Shades of Pewter - The Musical

An upcoming piece of musical theater, penned by none other than Baldawin the Bard himself! Inspired by the bestselling novel Fifty Shades of Pewter, this new musical is being rather dubiously advertised as a true and historically accurate portrayal of the star-crossed relationship between Prince Nicon and the famous adventurer Pewter.

Queen Melantha and most of her adventuring companions have expressed an unsubtle antipathy toward this particular creative endeavor; nevertheless, sheet music for the extremely dramatic title song, “The Fifty Shades of Pewter!”, were recently leaked to the Leylish public. The fan response was, shall we say, enthusiastic.


“The Fifty Shades of Pewter!”

NICON:
In sleep he sang to me,
In dreams he came.
His half-orc manliness
Drove me insane.

And do I dream again?
For now I find
The Fi-i-ifty Shades of Pewter are embedded
In my mind!

PEWTER:
My power over you
Grows stronger now.
I’ll not your knickknack be;
I’m no-one’s cow!

And though your love for me
Must take its toll
The Fi-i-ifty Shades of Pewter settle deep
Within your soul!

NICON:
Those who have heard my tale
Cry mirthful tears,
But when you’re by my side

PEWTER:
My thoughts are clear!

BOTH:
Your/My hammer and my/your greed
In one combined!
The Fi-i-ifty Shades of Pewter live forever
In my/your mind!

CHORUS:
He’s there, the Fifty Shades of Pewter!
Beware, the Fifty Shades of Pewter!
Get his autograph, the Fifty Shades of Pewter!
Historically accurate, the Fifty Shades of Pewter!

PEWTER:
In all your treachery,
You always knew
That orc and mystery

NICON:
Were both in you!

BOTH:
And curse the gods above,
That love is blind!
The Fi-i-ifty Shades of Pewter have completely
Crushed my/your mind!

NICON:
He’s there, the Fifty Shades of Pewter!

PEWTER:
The angel of Deyluth!

NICON:
Aaaaaaaaaah!

PEWTER:
Sing, my angel of Deyluth!

NICON:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

PEWTER:
Sing for me-e-ee!

NICON:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Fifty Shades of Pewter - The Musical

The Matter of the North ambatterton lkwaller